The Truth About Acne

many people constantly told me that I’ve handled this well. I often don’t talk about. It was more out of not wanting to draw any attention to it. There’s actually nothing about this process that’s been easy. However, the Lord has used it to teach me about who He’s created me to be and who He is as the Creator. 

 

 

 

here’s my story: 

 

I’ve had acne since 7th grade. It was kind of easy to just chalk up those middle school breakouts because well…. it’s middle school – everyone had the occasional breakout. I don’t remember really thinking much of it or being insecure about it. I was aware it was there and typically just covered it with makeup. 

 

high school. Oh high school gave me a million things to be insecure about. I developed cystic acne that couldn’t be covered – no matter how much makeup I pounded on my face, I just couldn’t cover those enormous red bumps – and trust me, I tried really hard. but all the color correcting and layers of concealer just wouldn’t cut it. The skin covering cysts is so raw and stretched out that makeup doesn’t stick to it. I did all the things that I was supposed to. I washed my face. I used products like stridex, proactive, and Rodan & Fields – nothing worked. I was constantly aware of how other people looked at me for having acne. I begin to realize that my friends were going to dermatologists – and that quickly changed my view of myself. The lies came flooding in. I thought my acne was a problem that needed fixing. I remember thinking that there’s no way someone could see past the acne – it’s dramatic, I know – but that’s really what I thought. There’s no way that I could be beautiful with acne. 

 

Out of this, makeup became an idol. Constantly trying to make myself look worthy of my age. Constantly trying to make sure people knew I was putting effort into my appearance. Constantly trying to make others look at me as beautiful. 

 

I remember being convicted my sophomore year of high school. I gave up makeup for Lent that year. I remember the way I felt walking around school without makeup. I can’t really describe it, but I wasn’t speaking life over my physical appearance. 

 

I had cystic acne all through high school and finally I went to the dermatologist in the spring of my senior year. It had gotten so bad that I couldn’t sleep at night because no matter which way I laid my head, the light pressure between my face and my pillow was extremely painful. This was a breaking point. I was tired of putting on this persona that I was completely fine. Part of me wanted to prove to others that I was strong than acne but the other part of me thought that if I could get rid of my acne, I would be so much better. 

 

So here came all the dermatologist visits. I got over 40 shots in my face – I would lay there crying at the pain of all the needles and walk out holding gauze pressed against my cheeks to catch the blood. I took medication and was prescribed topical treatments. i followed this regimen religiously.

 

Within a few months, I had clear skin. I had tons of acne scarring but I would take that over cysts on my face any day. 

 

Then I left home to move to Georgia for World Race. I ended up not taking any acne medications with me – just some face wash and a moisturizer. I just hoped that my acne wouldn’t come back. 

 

It didn’t take long for the acne to surface again. 

 

 

 

 

 

I haven’t had clear skin in 9 months now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most of the time when people finally speak up about the difficulties of acne, they’ve usually done all the healing. They have super inspirational words about beauty and even more inspirational before / after pictures to prove their physical progression. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They celebrate that it’s gone away. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But what about the person that still had acne and hasn’t seen it just go away?

 

I know the Lord has the capability to take away my acne in the snap of a finger. I’ve prayed for that before. He didn’t do it (even though I still strongly believe that He holds the power to) BUT what if He’s trying to teach me something in the midst of this? What if I’m missing out on experiences with the Lord because I’m too busy wishing it away and screaming that it’s too hard?

 

4 months ago I wrote : 

“I often don’t believe that I’m beautiful with acne – but even with it blemishing my face – God strongly believes I’m beautiful. “ 

 

 

Now I do actually believe that I’m beautiful. This goes beyond acne too, but regardless of whether I have acne or not, I can still look in the mirror and call myself beautiful. I can confidently say that my acne doesn’t change how the Lord looks at me, and therefore it doesn’t change how I look at myself because I cling to His truth. 

 

 

So I’m not here to say that everything is fine and that my acne is completely clear and I’ve finally found myself. 

 

No. 

 

But I know too much about what the Lord says about me to let red bumps dictate my worth. 

 

 

To the person who is still in the midst of painful breakouts – I wish I could promise you that it would go away. I wish I could tell you to just hang in there. I wish I could tell you to give it time. I wish I could name off a list of miracle products to go buy. 

 

I can’t. 

 

But I can offer you much more. 

 

Hear this – 

 

The God of the universe created you and said you were made perfect. He promises that you are valuable to Him. He promises that you are worthy to Him. He promises that you are lovely to Him. He promises that you are holy to Him. He promises that you are beautiful to Him. He sees past our faces, past our bodies, past our physical beings and insecurities – not because He has the ability to look past our “ugly” – but because He only sees what He made as beautiful !! 

 

 

 

These lies don’t pin me down anymore because I know the truth… that doesn’t mean it’s not still hard though. 

 

Just last week – I woke up with half my face swollen because my cystic acne got so bad on one side of my  face that I couldn’t open my eyes all the way. I literally had to miss a day of ministry to go to the doctor’s and find out that they basically couldn’t solve the problem. I walked away just praying that the swelling would go down. That’s all I could do. 

 

 

But today – a sweet sweet sweet old lady named Antonia told be that I was beautiful as she stroked the side of my face. It was in that moment that I realized I believed her – not because she said it but because I know the Lord has been telling me that all along. 

 

Now I can say I believe what He says about me is what I am. In looking in the eyes of Antonia, I saw God. 

 

I knew immediately that today was the day to post this blog that I’ve been working on for a couple months. 

 

 

thank you so much for reading !! God calls you RADIANT !! and I love you lots !! 

 

<3 Layna Jean